“He Hit Me First!”

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” Romans 12:14

This verse in Romans give a great example of love in action. I’ve had to repeat this verse to myself during different times in my life. Especially when dealing with, um, shall we say, difficult personalities.

As an adult this verse can be hard but not impossible. For my children however this seems unattainable.

In my permanent job as referee the most common phrase I hear is “He/She did it first!”

When I told them about this verse, the response from my five and seven year old was looks so puzzling that I had to laugh.

So how do I teach this foreign concept? I keep praying that by continuously explaining it will make them somehow understand it. I try to tell them to think about the others feelings.

My new five year old thinks that retaliation is worth any punishment I’ve come up with so far. She gets this furrowed brow that looks like something out of a movie. You can see the wheels in her mind working toward “getting even” with whatever injustice she felt.

She has tremendous compassion toward me and it seems no one else. If I cry, even if I fake cry, she cries, hysterically.

So she has a heart, trying to get that particular heart to “Bless those who persecute” her has proven to be difficult.

 

The above picture is Bella’s face after her brother got her back with a snowball. Note that she threw the first snowball and then the last.

I imagine that Romans 12:14-21 is going to be rather difficult for this precious princess. I pray that it all comes together sooner than later.

 

 

Then there are times like the above picture, where my five kids can’t show their love enough. Maybe they will get it after all….

Who Needs Confidence Anyway

“For you have been my hope, Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth.” Psalm 71:5

Confidence, some people have it, some people need it, some people have too much of it. I wish I could say that I always have had confidence. Confidence in the Lord and in myself. On the contrary, I tend to second guess my second guess. How sad is that?

It’s Often only after I have stressed myself out, to the point of pulling out my hair, about a particular decision that I then turn to the Lord and pray for Him to have mercy on my soul to give me a decision.

In parenting, especially when you first start out, people have tons of advice. Most advice contradicts the last person that gave you advice. So it’s loads of fun to weed through the inundation of information.

I had a ten year old child and then just received a 2 ½ year old, 14 month old and a 6 week old. So there I was with an instant 4 kids; 3 under 3 and lots of people telling me things from – “Are you crazy?” To-“Are you sure you want to use a pacifier? My kids were fine without it.” (The answer is yes to both of those. BTW)

I love people, I really do. I found quickly that I needed confidence in every decision I made. I felt judged. I felt like everyone thought they knew more than me. I thought maybe because I adopted I didn’t get that automatic download in my brain as to how to do everything right.

My prayers became pointed. I asked God to help me maneuver this parenting path, to have confidence and know the right thing to do for my kids.

God was good to me yet again. He gave me the confidence I need to raise my five crazy children. They may not be of my blood but I am capable of knowing what they need. I am far from a perfect parent but I am a perfect parent for my children.

Mommy Judgement

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:1-2

Judging -the message seems clear, how you judge others, is the way you will be judged.

As parents I think we get trapped in judgment not even thinking about it.

There are plenty of times I feel judged as a mom. Why is that? Because my kid just drooled all over your kid and I see the disgust in your eyes, (it’s gross I don’t blame you) but my child doesn’t understand how to swallow. I feel the judgment, condemning my ability to mother as you clean your child off…..

I definitely have enough judgment for myself.

On the flip side, there are different kinds of judgment we can fall into.

Most of us could be guilty of the judgmental “nod” – you know the nod – when friends are talking about another friend, saying “I can’t believe little Suzie still has a binky. I took the binky away from my kids by two.”

At that moment do I stand up and say “Well maybe little Suzie has oral motor problems. She may need to still have a binky!” No, I do not. I give the agreeing “nod” which is just as bad as a judgment.

Another judgmental trap we fall in, is when we feel strongly about a topic.

When people are talking about a topic that you are passionate about, do you pipe in with all your enthusiasm? “Nursing should be mandatory for all newborns!” Well maybe God made you passionate about it because it is the right thing for your child, but not for everyone’s.

All of these things are forms of judgment. As parents we need to believe what we are doing is right. I think the hard part is stopping with our children and not imposing judgment on others.

When I became a mom to my middle three, people came out of the woodwork to give me advice about what I should and shouldn’t do with my children.  Some of the advice was conflicting. Which left me to go on a journey of what was right for me and my family. Don’t get me wrong, giving advice is great. Just don’t get upset when it doesn’t work for the parents next door.

No one’s kids are perfect – yes shocker! No parents are perfect either- double shocker. Did I just lose you all?

God made each and every one of our families on purpose. And this verse in Matthew 7 especially applies to us.

Remember – Just because you were able to potty train little Johnny, by letting him run around naked doesn’t mean that’s wanted or will work in every household.

~In love