My Anxiousness

My anxious heart

If something is a blessing how can it cause anxiousness?

My house got damaged by ice damns during the winter months. At first I thought one of my kids left the upstairs shower on and it was overflowing. Then I realized it was coming from the roof! Wonderful. So the lovely winter took the center of my house out. We have had no inside walls for months now. I have not loved being without walls or ceilings in some places.

Thankfully none of the kid’s bedrooms got damaged. My husband and I however have been sleeping in the living room. The whole downstairs, staircase, and two bathrooms however are in disarray.

Now the reconstruction is starting and all I can feel is anxious.

Anxious about how to chorale the kids to not be under foot of the construction workers. Anxious about where we can go while they work on the bathrooms. There is a tightness in my chest that I keep praying about, yet seems to keep creeping up. The pit in my stomach about some of the costs that the insurance doesn’t quite cover. My mind will not rest.

This renovation is a great thing! I’m not trying to convince myself of this, it really is great. The reconstruction is awesome. The insurance company is taking care of most everything the water damaged. Our house will look better than it has in years. So why can’t I calm down?

I keep praying about it. I keep trying to take a deep breath and relax.

I can’t seem to get rid of all these butterflies in my stomach.

I can’t seem to find my calmness. I can’t take a deep breath! Yesterday in the car all I did was pray and try to breath to loosen my chest. With the stress of having my kids love to scream in the car added with the house constantly going through my head. Well let’s just say I’m praying a lot when I drive right now.

I need to make my body calm down but telling it to, has not worked so far.

I am like an impatient child right now. I feel my blood pressure rising with everything that seems to go wrong. Trying not to yell at the kids when they are being their regular crazy selves.

Am I really Whining about something so good? Whining about my house being in chaos when some people don’t even have a house? Whining about having to have everyone dressed by 7am so construction workers can come in and not see naked children fly through the halls. In my head I have no right. So why can’t I breathe? I know Gods got the details but I can’t breathe!

I’m reminded about the scripture verse Philippians 4:6-7

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition,

With thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which

Transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

 

Finding my peace is easier said than done.

Blessings.

Focus

So I’ve been a slacker on this wonderful blog the last few weeks.

See 3/4ths of my house is under construction because of ice damage from the winter. Then add five kids plus some extra kids because it’s summer and they are trying to enjoy the nice weather. Then add trying to keep my special needs kids safe from the chaos.

Well I’m a bit stressed and busy.

Some of it is a good kind of stress like what color paint and floors but it’s still added time in my already crazy schedule.

So I haven’t been sitting around eating bon-bons or watching TV. I have however failed to find the time to write down all the ideas that have come into my head to blog about.

What happens when I don’t write?

You may have guessed it, I felt convicted. I woke up at midnight thinking about what I needed to write and that I was behind schedule.

I remembered that I still hadn’t submitted something to another writer whom I made a promise to.

I had a swift kick in the pants that my focus was off.

Maybe we all go through seasons where we need to be reminded of what’s important. The world around us needs some attention but it’s not supposed to be our focus. Jesus needs to be our true north, no matter what is going on around us

I pray that all of you are able to keep your eyes focused on Jesus through all of the distractions.

I’ve prayed about what my schedule needs to be for the summer. I will be only blogging once a week for the rest of the summer due to this lovely construction. Come fall I’ll be back into my “normal” rhythm of once to twice a week (as the Spirit leads).

I pray you are all enjoying this blessed summer!

 Hebrews 12:2

“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”

Why Is It So Hard to Share Jesus?

Why is it so hard to share Jesus?

We are all human. As humans we make mistakes, we sin, we fall, we get back up.

It is true.

The problem I find that in this social media age is the moment you publicly declare yourself a Christian, You are expected to be perfect.

Is that really what Christian’s are? Are churches around the world full of “perfect” people?

Far from it. Jesus says in Luke 5:38

“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.

I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

 

Jesus came for those of us that are sinners. That need His healing.

So why is there such a misconception that Christians are perfect? Probably because other Christians like to publicly shame anyone who calls themselves a Christian but still fall prey to sin.

People young and old are not sharing the gospel for fear of this judgement. I find this terrifyingly sad. Even as a mother I have found myself telling my kids to tone it down at times.

So how do we change this?

We need to persevere through. You and I need to not be afraid to share the gospel. We need to not be afraid that we don’t have all the answers or that we still make mistakes.

We need to stop publicly calling people out on their mistakes and approach them one on one trying to help one another instead of saying “look she’s so much worse than me! So judge her mistakes not mine!”

Love. Above all of this is love. Before you post something on Facebook or Twitter are you saying it with love? Are you teaching a lesson of love or are you publicly rebuking someone that you may not know the whole story of?

Instead of posting and being known for what you hate, try posting about what you love.

As a Christian I love Jesus, I try my very best to always turn away from sin. That has been a walking process through my life though. I have hit stumbling blocks along my life. If I had been shamed for any of my faults I might not be the person I am today.

So if you see someone in your life falling down a wrong path show them what love looks like. Show them a positive way to turn. Instead of telling them what you hate.

“May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord.”

2 Peter 1:2