Do I have to?

Hospitality

Practicing hospitality with little ones looks a little different than it does on TV. In my house it looks a lot different.

Rewind several years ago I went from having a ten year old to having a ten year old, 2 ½ year old, fourteen month old, and 6 week old baby. Literally overnight. I don’t want to do that whole nine month thing that everyone else is into. Nope I jump right in! I have to find humor in it ok.

So in that time frame I had an influx of stuff. Imagine what one baby comes with then multiply it times three. I should preface all that by saying that one; our house is not big, especially for seven people in it. Second, cleaning has always been a challenge to me.

On top of the pressure of being a new mommy I had the extra pressure to get my house into shape. Two of my new children came with Birth to 3 services. I don’t know if that’s the same in every state but Birth to 3 is basically in home services for kids not meeting their milestones and need help in different areas. So not only did I have an influx of people coming to meet the little ones but I had our state DCF system to check on them and almost daily Birth to 3 service people.

Oh and did I mention that my husband had to leave two weeks after they came to us, for military training. Yeah, Good times. I say it sarcastically in my mind, but in the middle of that mess was beauty. I had three children that I had been praying for.

I had friends that kept telling me not to worry about the mess. And so often we are told the mess will be there when our kids are grown, we can clean then. Um well I say no. Yes I play with my kids and give them all the love in the world. Yet this home is where my kids will learn hospitality.

So often in the bible are we reminded to practice hospitality. It doesn’t say “Practice hospitality when your kids are grown and out of the house.” I looked, it really doesn’t. There are tons of other verses in the bible though about practicing hospitality toward one another.

So if I don’t teach my children how to clean up and I don’t keep a clean house, am I following Gods instruction? I say no. Now don’t get your panties in a twist. I’m not saying that people should be able to eat off your floors but it needs to be clean, picked up, Welcoming.

I have five kids and trust me, my house is lived in. Yet every day we pick up after every meal. Every night we do the floors (mostly because of the two dogs). My mud room falls apart a bit but during the snow season I try to give myself some grace with that.

We have an open door policy and still I have birth to three in my house every day for my littlest, being a MOPS leader I try to have women over. Over the years we have had life groups and dinner parties. Our house is not huge so during the winter months we need to get creative with space. Yet my husband and I feel that God blessed us with this house to practice hospitality and that’s what we do.

Hospitality does not come easy to me. I had to learn by fire so to speak. The one piece of advice I always remember about being hospitable is to make people to feel welcomed. If our house was a disaster and not clean do you think people would feel welcomed? Probably not, they might be afraid to sit.

If this whole post is just making you anxious – ask for help. I did. You’d be surprised how quickly a friendship can grow when they are helping you sort through your stuff. Some people are very gifted in organization. Ask them for help, there is no shame in it. Showing hospitality looks very different to each of us. I know in my heart it’s important though, it wouldn’t be mentioned so many times in the bible if it weren’t.

Be blessed.

Mommy Judgement

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:1-2

Judging -the message seems clear, how you judge others, is the way you will be judged.

As parents I think we get trapped in judgment not even thinking about it.

There are plenty of times I feel judged as a mom. Why is that? Because my kid just drooled all over your kid and I see the disgust in your eyes, (it’s gross I don’t blame you) but my child doesn’t understand how to swallow. I feel the judgment, condemning my ability to mother as you clean your child off…..

I definitely have enough judgment for myself.

On the flip side, there are different kinds of judgment we can fall into.

Most of us could be guilty of the judgmental “nod” – you know the nod – when friends are talking about another friend, saying “I can’t believe little Suzie still has a binky. I took the binky away from my kids by two.”

At that moment do I stand up and say “Well maybe little Suzie has oral motor problems. She may need to still have a binky!” No, I do not. I give the agreeing “nod” which is just as bad as a judgment.

Another judgmental trap we fall in, is when we feel strongly about a topic.

When people are talking about a topic that you are passionate about, do you pipe in with all your enthusiasm? “Nursing should be mandatory for all newborns!” Well maybe God made you passionate about it because it is the right thing for your child, but not for everyone’s.

All of these things are forms of judgment. As parents we need to believe what we are doing is right. I think the hard part is stopping with our children and not imposing judgment on others.

When I became a mom to my middle three, people came out of the woodwork to give me advice about what I should and shouldn’t do with my children.  Some of the advice was conflicting. Which left me to go on a journey of what was right for me and my family. Don’t get me wrong, giving advice is great. Just don’t get upset when it doesn’t work for the parents next door.

No one’s kids are perfect – yes shocker! No parents are perfect either- double shocker. Did I just lose you all?

God made each and every one of our families on purpose. And this verse in Matthew 7 especially applies to us.

Remember – Just because you were able to potty train little Johnny, by letting him run around naked doesn’t mean that’s wanted or will work in every household.

~In love

Who Invited Allergies – my rant

Who Invited Allergies

“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” Acts 2:42

Breaking bread, they do not mention in this passage that they had any alternatives for those who can’t eat bread. Maybe they made some rice bread on the side? I understand that the breaking of bread and fellowship with each other is important. Especially with all the holidays coming up.

Breaking bread wouldn’t be in the bible otherwise. It sounds so easy in the bible. They broke bread – they shared food. Nowhere in there is it said that they were worried that so-and-so had to be made special bread. When did this all change? Why, oh, why did this change?

Have you ever had that family that you wanted to invite over, but then you found out they had five billion children? Or worse yet, five billion children with allergies? Freak show in the making.

Yeah I’m talking about my family. It’s true. I want to break bread with people, I love people, I really do. I love gatherings…well, in theory. Gatherings are always fun in my head. Then the actual event gets closer and I have to figure out which allergies I must tell the host about.

The priority allergies are the ones that potentially would kill one of us or cause great discomfort. So apples are a no-go. Yeah, I know you’re thinking, really, apples? Those suckers sent me into anaphylaxis a few years ago and now I run for cover every time I see one. Then, after that, peanuts are a Debbie Downer for my middle child. She doesn’t understand to not eat everything she sees so I have to let them know about that allergy. The only other one I tell people about is gluten because three of us can’t have wheat.

So I choose to not tell the host about the rest of the foods I’m allergic to because I’m afraid I’d have no friends and we would get un-invited. Yes, un-invited, I would be scared to cook for us too if I didn’t have to live with it.

Let’s see a full list of EVERYTHING is in my opinion ridiculous. My body has decided to revolt, against anything healthy. Here it is: Apples, peaches pears, nectarines, cherries, strawberries, flax seeds, hazelnuts, avocados, carrots, gluten, and peanuts. Did I get it all? Probably not.

So, would you invite us over for food? No, I get it. But, now we are left out of the fellowship that comes when you break bread with other families. I don’t understand why we have these allergies. I hate being a burden on people I really do. I don’t know what the solution is. Maybe if you find out a family has allergies, an easier thing would be to ask what they can eat? This post is actually just a rant. I really don’t know a great answer except have mercy on the poor souls with food allergies. It’s a real thing and we didn’t do it on purpose. Whatever the inconvenience is we feel bad about it and would change it if we could.

If any of you reading have food allergies may God bless you during this upcoming holiday season. And I pray you find people that are compassionate toward you.