Teenagers Rule?

Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

My oldest child turned 15 this past week. How scary is that? I don’t know which bothered me more: That I can’t tell my kids I’m 29 anymore without it being weird, or that she’s going to be driving in a year? Probably that I can’t get away with being 29 anymore, I have a year to worry about the driving thing.

So now my kids age range is 2-15. I really thought toddlers were the hardest age group, till I got a real live teenager. Teenagers are an interesting breed of humans. They are responsible, sweet, and loving one moment, then the next you ruined her world and she’s huffing off to go Instagram about it.

It’s a wonderful time. At least my two year old goes to time out when he throws a temper tantrum. Have you ever tried to put a fifteen year old into time out? I have – they laugh at you! Imagine that.

My oldest child is great don’t get me wrong when it comes to teenagers I’m pretty happy with this one. I think our biggest struggle is trying to figure out just how much independence a fifteen year old should have, verses how much she would like to have.

I know some of this is my own need for “control” and I ultimately need to rest in the fact that God is in control. Even that’s a struggle for me though. Lets face it. Yes God is in control but He entrusted me to raise these five little crazy children. So where is the handbook from God that says “At fifteen thou shall let her go to the library by herself!” ????? Yeah I looked it up. Surprisingly, nothing about what age you can let your child do certain activities.

I know this looks different for every family, which is probably why it’s not in the bible. (I hate when I answer my own questions.) But the thing is, sometimes it’s hard to know when I am listening to my instincts or when I am being overprotective. Hopefully by the time my fifth kid becomes a teenager I will have this figured out. – Now that thought makes me belly laugh!

At least in all my craziness I always let them know its out of love.

Mommy Judgement

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:1-2

Judging -the message seems clear, how you judge others, is the way you will be judged.

As parents I think we get trapped in judgment not even thinking about it.

There are plenty of times I feel judged as a mom. Why is that? Because my kid just drooled all over your kid and I see the disgust in your eyes, (it’s gross I don’t blame you) but my child doesn’t understand how to swallow. I feel the judgment, condemning my ability to mother as you clean your child off…..

I definitely have enough judgment for myself.

On the flip side, there are different kinds of judgment we can fall into.

Most of us could be guilty of the judgmental “nod” – you know the nod – when friends are talking about another friend, saying “I can’t believe little Suzie still has a binky. I took the binky away from my kids by two.”

At that moment do I stand up and say “Well maybe little Suzie has oral motor problems. She may need to still have a binky!” No, I do not. I give the agreeing “nod” which is just as bad as a judgment.

Another judgmental trap we fall in, is when we feel strongly about a topic.

When people are talking about a topic that you are passionate about, do you pipe in with all your enthusiasm? “Nursing should be mandatory for all newborns!” Well maybe God made you passionate about it because it is the right thing for your child, but not for everyone’s.

All of these things are forms of judgment. As parents we need to believe what we are doing is right. I think the hard part is stopping with our children and not imposing judgment on others.

When I became a mom to my middle three, people came out of the woodwork to give me advice about what I should and shouldn’t do with my children.  Some of the advice was conflicting. Which left me to go on a journey of what was right for me and my family. Don’t get me wrong, giving advice is great. Just don’t get upset when it doesn’t work for the parents next door.

No one’s kids are perfect – yes shocker! No parents are perfect either- double shocker. Did I just lose you all?

God made each and every one of our families on purpose. And this verse in Matthew 7 especially applies to us.

Remember – Just because you were able to potty train little Johnny, by letting him run around naked doesn’t mean that’s wanted or will work in every household.

~In love

Two Options One Choice

“My commandment is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” ~John 15:12

Have you ever thought about what kind of example you want to be for your kids? There are times that I’m in too much of a hurry and I don’t fully think about what I am doing. I am guilty of not always thinking of what example I’m giving my kids with my choices. Often my decisions are made in the heat of a moment when I’m chasing a naked child around the house, or during a dramatic sibling fight. Yes, I tend to make quick decisions, especially when my middle child is screaming at the top of her lungs….ear piercing.

Two days ago I was in the car hurrying back from a doctor’s appointment trying to make yet another appointment. And I was stopped for a while in front of the church because a funeral procession was pulling in. When we finally were able to move again, the car in front of me wasn’t moving so I honked my horn lightly thinking that maybe they didn’t notice traffic moving again.

The woman in front of me threw up her arms. I could tell something was wrong so I had two choices at that moment: I could either drive around her or I could stop and see if I can assist.

Well, I chose to stop, not that I know much about cars, and see if I could help her. The cars behind me, however, got very angry and were beeping and yelling. One swerved around me shouting something I can’t repeat. I understood their frustration. I myself was in a hurry, but I made a choice that this car in front of me was more important in that moment than any appointment.

Then I asked her if something was wrong in the most non creepy nice way I could think of. We were stopped in the middle of the road and I’m sure her father warned her about strangers. When she explained the problem I realized it was something that had happened to me and I could help her! Quick fix and we were on our way within minutes.

I realized then that I had not only made the right choice – despite the cars yelling at me – but it was a great example to my kids. I didn’t tell off any of the cars AND I helped someone!

The two options given to me were: add to the problem or offer a helping hand. Now I’m not saying I want my kids to go up to stopped cars. I am an overprotective mother after all. My point is that the choices we make should be based on the commandment that we should love one another as He has loved us. This way our legacy and example to our children can be something to stand behind. Rather than showing them that our schedule is above all else.