Trust in Adoption

Trust in Adoption

This month I have been working through a series on trust and the various ways that it effects my life.

Today, I would like to talk about adoption. I know what your thinking – “What does trust have to do with adoption?” Trust is huge in the process of adoption. From trusting the agency you use to trusting the child/ren that come into your home. There are a lot of questions out there about adoption and I would love to answer them. Adoption is one of those things close to my heart (of course because I’ve adopted four of my children).

Trust comes more easily for some than others. It’s scary to think of the process to receive a child into your home, to prepare yourself for such a wonderful thing, and then to have no guarantee that you will receive a child.

The process is daunting when you first start researching adoption. The paperwork alone could wallpaper an entire house.

For my husband and I international adoption was too expensive. It seemed like a lost cause when I first started researching how much money it would take to bring a child home.

Then, through an internet search, I found our state’s Department of Children and Families (DCF).

I wasn’t really sure about that process either because I had heard of horror stories of children being taken back after years of being with a family. I decided to ask the hard questions myself. We went in very leery of the process because the thought of children coming in and out and not staying was heart breaking. Not to mention we didn’t want to do that to our oldest daughter (mine through marriage).

I’m not going to lie there is some risk when you go to adopt. How much risk you want to take is different for each family. Our state’s system assesses the risk level of each child as to whether they will most likely go back with their biological family (high risk) or if they need to start the process for adoption (low risk).

Even though we signed up for a low risk adoption, it was nerve racking. I found myself on my knees praying for all of the paperwork to go through. Daily I had to trust God and pray that if it was God’s will for my children to stay with us that it happens smoothly.

All children come from God and are God’s. We all belong to Him. However, it’s hard to think that way, when you’re waiting for your very own child to take care of.

In this situation it’s hard to trust in God, but you still have to.

If my husband and I did not trust that this was God’s path for us we might never have had our children. I can’t imagine life without them, nor do I want to. No matter how much I whine about Autism or the effects that neglect had on them, I still love them. God still entrusted them to us. I am forever grateful.

Pure and genuine religion

in the sight of God the Father

means caring for

Orphans and widows in their distress

and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

James 1:27

I’m Not Enough – But He Is

I’m not enough

My kids have temper tantrums why can’t I?

“Because you’re the Mom” my five year says. When I asked if I’m allowed, after she had a hissy fit.

But I want to. I want to throw a hissy fit. When everyone else is screaming (happy and sad it’s all the same volume here) I just want to throw myself down and start kicking my feet.

Not really the picture of a great wife and mother though is it?

“she is clothed with strength and dignity;

She can laugh at the days to come.”

Proverbs 31:25

I laugh a lot but not in these moments. Not in when I feels like I’m in a parenting failure moment.

So where do I go when everything seems to be building up? Yup you guessed it, to the Lord whom I need to trust.

Having special needs children adds a whole other layer of trust, that layer still shakes for me.

I don’t always love having to worry every moment what my six year old is doing. I mean like every moment. Most six year olds are like my seven and five year old – they can play in the backyard without me. Not my six year old though.

She once got out of the house while I was going to the bathroom. Just a few weeks ago now, she decided to open the sliding glass door and walk out of the house! (We didn’t even know she knew how to open that door.) She can’t talk so the car that stopped, (yes, of course she went right to the road because it’s the cool thing to do, thankfully that’s as far as she got) the car that stopped called the cops. I ran out just as the people had gotten off the phone. Damage was done though. I felt as though I had a heart attack when I realized she got out. Then I felt like I needed a real “Mother of the Year Award” for losing my child in my own house.

The judgment on those people’s faces didn’t help. So I told them to send the cops to my house we would wait inside for them. Thankfully the cops, of this day and age, are used to Autistic children wandering off, so they were very nice. I was noticeable shaken though – it could have been a lot worse.

She certainly likes to give me a run for my money. Someday I just want to whine about having to still changing a six year old’s diaper or having to feed her because she chokes herself.

Yes I’m a real “Debbie Downer” right now but this is my everyday reality.

I NEED to trust in His plan. I need to TRUST.

“I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame,” Psalm 25:2

I need to trust. Sometimes I need to trust when I’m crying into my pillow that this life that I asked for is too much.

I need to trust when the laughter gets so out of control someone pees their pants.

I need to trust when the scars seem too deep.

I may not be meant to understand. I just need to trust.

That seems very hard for me on days like today. Today where I needed three of me to accomplish anything. Days where I just want to scream “I CANT DO THIS! I AM NOT ENOUGH!”

Then I realize – I’m not enough. I’m not supposed to be. God gave me this path to keep me moving closer to Him. I need to lean in on those days and realize my God is enough and trust Him to help me through.

5 Verses about Trust

5 Verses about trust

So I may be alone in this one but I find it much easier to “trust but verify” in my everyday life.

People in my life are all wonderful but inevitably they can let me down, as I’m sure I have let them down a time or two. It’s the flaw of being human – we are not perfect. (I know shocker)

Even in the bible you can find loads of example of people not trusting either each other or not trusting the Lord.  Don’t take my word for it, go ahead and search the bible for verses of people not trusting.  There’s plenty.

Today though, I don’t want to focus on mistrust, I want to focus on trust, more importantly trust in the Lord.

The Lord is trustworthy all the time.

Did you catch that? The Lord is trustworthy ALL the time. Period. No matter what you’re going through the Lord is there with you.

I want to share five verse about trust, which really stuck out to me. There are a ton more so if you have different favorites I’d love to hear them. I put them in order of where they are in the bible from beginning to end to make it slightly easier.

1- 2 Kings 18:5

“Hezekiah trusted in the Lord, the God of Israel, There was no one like him among all the kings of Judah, either before or after him.”

2- 1 Chronicles 5:20

“They were helped in fighting them, and God delivered the Hagrites and all their allies into their hands, because they cried out to him during the battle. He answered their prayers, because they trusted in him.”

3- Psalm 56:3

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”

4- Proverbs 3:5

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

5- Romans 15:13

“May the God of hope fill you and with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirt.”

I encourage you to memorize one that stands out. In times of doubt it helps to rest in God’s word. Trusting the Lord is a theme throughout the bible.