Trust in Marriage – Wrapping up my Trust series
Being married to my husband has been one of the best experiences in my life.
It’s truly amazing when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The person that you promise before God, all your friends, and all your family to stick with through thick and thin, sickness and health, good times and bad.
Have you ever noticed that wedding vows don’t just mention the good stuff? Vows purposefully mention the whole spectrum of life for a reason. The reason is this: No matter how much you love your spouse at the time you get married, this life can be really hard at times. You need to go into a marriage with the mindset that this person is your partner through ALL of it.
Here are a few things I’ve learned over the years.
1-Love. Above all else Love.
As the commandment goes “Love others as you would love yourself.”
Most of the time once you get comfortable in your marriage a level of niceness disappears.
You need to think about how you would want someone else to treat your spouse. If it’s nicer then how you are treating them, it’s time to bring the love back. The love that God wants in your marriage.
A huge part of trust in marriage comes from the love you show one another and how you show it to each other.
2-Partnership – Partnership does not just happen when you say “I DO”
The key to finding partnership is to talk with each other. When necessary, hash things out – respectfully.
You each need to bend to each other. Being married to someone doesn’t mean you agree on everything right away. Or that one of you just says it’s my way or the highway. It means you should talk it out and find a happy compromise.
To trust in a marriage you need to find a great complimentary partnership. Kinda like all those cop shows where they “have each other’s backs” you need to have that in a marriage.
3- Money – Finances comes into every marriage – like it or not – you need to talk about it. You cannot hide from money in this world.
I can’t stress enough how important having the conversation about money is, both before and during marriage. Every couple months if not more often you should both sit down with the bills and with your dreams. Find out what each other is thinking.
Whether you two want to buy a house or a refrigerator, you need to make a plan – together.
Retirement – Talk about it! Don’t assume your spouse knows what you’re thinking (about anything). Talk honestly and come up with a game plan both of you can agree on.
Finances are one of the biggest arguments that can come up between husband and wife.
DON’T LET IT!
Set up your priorities for both of you – in order. Write it down. Revisit the conversation regularly. If your plan doesn’t seem to be working rework it!
You two are in charge of how you spend your money. Talk about it so both of you can rest easy with a plan you can stick to.
For instance – My husband and I did a budget once that left out us going out together. Well we blew the budget the first week! The two of us going out to dinner is a priority because it’s how we connect without the little ones interrupting. We redid the plan to one we could both stick to.
Chat about finances, without arguing, without emotions, look at it as a brainstorming session you two get to be the bosses of.
If you don’t have a budget or know where to start I recommend DaveRamsey.com. He has sound advice and free tools that we used to get our finances on track.
4- The bedroom. Ok so not many people love to talk about this in public. Especially in Christian circles but it needs to be talked about.
The bedroom is a place you need to be able to trust one another. To have trust in intimacy you need to connect regularly.
I know it’s hard with little ones – trust me – I know but that is no excuse.
As married couples the frequency for all of us looks a little different. But if you want to build trust and enjoy what God has planned for your marriage it should be often (at least a few times a week).
Intimacy is the biggest difference between roommates and lifelong lovers.
Keep intimacy strong in your marriage.
A blog that I follow that helps with marriage encouragement is www.the-generous-wife.com
If you’re a guy her husband has a blog (that I don’t read but it’s geared for all the hubbies out there its called
5 – Husband first then kids. Ok Jesus first, then husband, then kid if you want to get technical.
By showing my kids that I support their father and he supports me it shows them how marriage is supposed to work. It helps them to know that they can’t play us against each other and it helps them to know that the world really doesn’t revolve around them no matter how much they want it to.
Calm your britches I’m not talking about neglecting my children – not for one second. I’m talking about showing my children that their Father is a priority.
I pray that this advice helps you.
motheringwithasideofwhine.wordpress.com 
Just thinking lately how our children are constantly the topic of our conversations. I would like more time just my husband and I. Times of just being us. This is something we need to work on.
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