It’s Just So Hard Mommy

I wrote this waiting for a meeting to start for my soon to be five year old who is Autistic. She is completely non-verbal, low motor skills and low cognitive ablility. The meetings concerning her usually break my heart and so sometimes as I work with her I picture what she might say to me…

What do you want me to do now?
I can’t possibly put that jacket on!
Using a fork….It’s just so hard Mommy.
Getting dressed
Getting undressed
Going potty
Using words
Using signs
Chewing food! …it’s just so hard Mommy
Playing with toys
Not banging my head
Sitting down
Walking outside…. It’s just so hard Mommy
Not hitting myself
Listening
Brushing my teeth
Going to bed… It’s just so hard Mommy
I see my siblings everyday. I know what “typical”kids do.
It’s just so hard Mommy
I see your heartbreak
I see your frustration
It’s just so hard Mommy
I can’t control my body
I can’t tell you I Love You
It’s just so hard Mommy…

Crazy Mommy Link

Yes my kids must have some crazy mommy link to me. Is that real? I don’t
know, but how the heck do the kids know the exact moment I put my head on my
pillow to sleep! It’s like they sence “Mom is resting!” and instantly an
alarm goes off in their head and they start screaming. It’s a tiring season
in my life. The moment one kid seems to be over what ailes them one of my
other kids needs my attention.

Now I know that this season will not be forever and one day I will miss them
needing me. As I scoff down a cupcake because they sense when I’m eating
something good I wish this crazy mommy link would losen its grips!
And when I need to use the restroom all of a sudden screams and tears
commence! Who is tipping them off! If only detectives had such a sence about
the criminals they were chasing we might crime free!

Even now each time I try to type I hear someone trying to break into the
snack cubbard! How do they do it?!